FATHOM ‘COMPANIONSHIP’ – Don’t stoop or compromise in loneliness.

Companionship is a feeling of fellowship or friendship. Every living being, including plants, needs it for survival or physical and emotional propagation.

Is companionship the mantra to escape loneliness? Yes, to some extent, it is valid! But should one stoop, smothering self-respect and self-worth, to be with someone else? Healthy alliances respect individuality while fostering connection. The best companionship tends to come when you can remain authentically yourself.

Compromising for companionship is a complex issue. There is a delicate line between healthy compromise and sacrificing too much of one’s identity. It can be detrimental when self-compromise leads to disconnection from values, interests, or identity.

We communicate with our co-passengers while travelling on a bus, train, or flight. We may also meet several new faces at a social gathering or work and try to initiate a conversation with them. The tête-à-tête may be pleasant or disastrous.

Once, while flying from London to New York, I shared my seat with a Grammy award winner. Over eight hours of flying, we talked about anything and everything related to Indian and Western music. The guy kept gulping wine and pushing me to share, so I landed at JFK stoned and dizzy. I barely managed to continue my journey to my final destination, Houston. How would you rate this companionship—a boon or a curse?

Whether we seek casual or meaningful companionship, the power of choice is entirely ours. We, as co-passengers, determine the course and depth of our interactions, guided by our understanding of each other’s intellect and emotional insight. This empowerment in choosing our companionship is a testament to our control and confidence, making us feel responsible for our emotional well-being.

It’s important to note that engaging in conversation and finding meaningful companionship are two distinct experiences. The former may be casual and fleeting, while the latter requires a deeper connection and understanding. This distinction allows us to be discerning and insightful in our relationships, seeking quality over quantity in our companionship.

As I navigated the city’s elite parties, I realised that most conversations were superficial, limited to ‘Hello—how are you?’ ‘Long time, no see, etc.’ It was like a series of meetings, one plastic face after another. The discontent and intolerance of these shallow interactions and camaraderie underscore the need for deeper, more meaningful connections. Companionship comes from friendships, and in a world where relationships turn into mere acquaintances, the soul of genuine amity is lost.

Begging for companionship is a miserable thing to do.

The manipulation and constant endeavour to capture someone’s attention is pathetic and short-lived. Mr Singh, a leading businessman, stoops to acquire alliances with the city’s prominent government officials. Loading them with gifts, throwing lavish private parties, and sweating to get a social click are Mr Singh’s biggest fads. His office’s walls flaunt all sizes and shapes of such random clicks.

Isn’t this stooping or both sides buttering to acquire companionship? Such people don’t understand and value real togetherness and fail to comprehend the essence of joyful bonding and deep intimacy.

Avinash endured, nurturing meaningful relationships. He infused paramount effort into fostering them and believed in emotional longevity and verbal sensitivity. Despite his trustworthiness, some friendships were lost because of unfortunate and uncalled-for situations. Avinash, however, kept moving and infusing his might into new alliances. Was his loneliness the reason for his pursuit? There was an element of ‘Emotional Promiscuity’ in his behaviour.

An emotionally promiscuous person forms intense emotional connections with multiple people at the same time. Unlike physical promiscuity, which involves numerous sexual partners, emotional promiscuity is about forming deep emotional connections with several people. Romance and physical intimacy may not be involved but can create complex dynamics. Confusion and jealousy effectively blur the boundaries of friendship and romantic alliance.

Emotional promiscuity stems from a strong need or craving for emotional novelty, nurtured from connections that fill different emotional needs that one relationship fails to suffice or satisfy. Such companionship requires setting healthy boundaries and clear communication while balancing the connections so everyone feels revered and understood.

In school, I stooped to draw a boy’s attention. The boy used to bully me, displaying an enormous attitude. His arrogance made my vulnerability and pleading a problem. I nursed my naïve emotions of loneliness because of the boy’s callousness. I was, however, saved from further emotional damage as logic and intellect seeped in at the right moment.

We often encounter such companionships in schools and colleges where a group of students thrive on bullying the weaker section.

A person discovers true companionship within himself, not outside. The meaningful camaraderie between the mind and the heart quenches the emotional promiscuity of wandering and instigates self-awareness of the inner self. This self-awareness is a powerful tool, ensuring we shouldn’t stoop or sacrifice self-respect on the altar of emotional gratification. It empowers us to preserve our self-respect in all relationships.

The feeling of being abandoned and left alone is positive and wise and should be taken in stride. Loneliness, a sense of emptiness and isolation, shouldn’t be considered a curse; instead, it should be transformed into solitude, a state of being alone without feeling lonely. The profound sense of ‘self’ comes alive when the person is in solitude and understands— ‘You are your own closest companion.’

My favourite quote is – “Everyone comes with baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack it.”

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